I’ll start by thanking everyone who’s checked in with me during my month-long absence from blogging — that really brought home to me that I’ve made some genuine connections in the blogging world, and it’s not all just about “one hand washing the other” and “you scratching my back and me scratching yours” and collectively achieving A-List Social Media Superstardom.
The explanation for my absence is that, for a long time, I just didn’t feel inspired to write. The way I was writing simply wasn’t fully bringing out who I am. There are aspects of me — particularly my wild, spontaneous part — that my structured, “prescriptive” style of writing wasn’t making use of, and that was frustrating to me.
I thought and agonized about this for a while, and finally came to a resolution. I just needed to try a different kind of creative expression for a while, and find something that did bring out those parts that wanted to be seen. I didn’t need to stop writing altogether, but I needed to take a little detour.
So, I’ve been exploring for a bit, and trying some new stuff. I’ve been working on a computer game with a friend that focuses on what Stone Age spirituality might have been like. :) I’ve also done some videos I’d like to share with you.
At Least I Feel Alive
I’ve received all kinds of reactions to these videos so far — from “I had to lie down after watching these” to “I don’t get this at all.” Wherever your reactions are on that spectrum, they’re welcome here (if you like them, I’d appreciate a “Like” on YouTube).
One thing I’ve noticed is that people’s reactions to my creative work, no matter what they are, always help me feel alive. It’s not always a blissful kind of aliveness — it may be a “fight or flight” kind of aliveness, for example, when someone talks to me in a way that seems critical and attacking.
But one thing is certain — when I’m getting feedback on projects I’m invested in, and feeling the emotions that come with it, it’s impossible for me to go through my day in a numb and robotic way, as I can from time to time. I’m sure to feel a lot of rich sensation — and learning to embrace intense sensation, instead of turning away from it, is what my own growth and exploration, and the work I share with others, are about.
Without further ado, here are the videos. I’ll be doing a lot more writing shortly, and I’m looking forward to catching up with those of you I haven’t connected with in a while.